margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize