Apparently you make a good broom.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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