I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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