He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
