I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
