Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
