I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
