I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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