In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
