i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
