covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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