I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
