Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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