Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize