This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
