): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
