Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
