she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
