Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
