Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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