dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
