they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
