I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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