I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
