i jhust puked up my retainher.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
