i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
