everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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