I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
