HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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