Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
