so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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