what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
