I think I am morally bankrupt
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
