At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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