you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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