weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
