He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
