I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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