i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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