Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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