Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
