he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
