is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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