yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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