What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
