I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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