I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
babies were throwing up all over the place
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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