She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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