I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Blow job season was short but glorious.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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