god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
