i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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