I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
