I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
