At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize