why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
