They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
