I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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