If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
