I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
