dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
