I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
