I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
