i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found a bag of teeth...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
