i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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