So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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