OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
