How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
