why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize